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If you miss the first part, click here! – http://bit.ly/2raq5lO

Contents

  • Let’s find out what you want….
  • Best advice Worst advice
  • Be skeptical
  • Trust your instinct
  • Summary

Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he’ll eat for life.  – Lao Tzu

On the first part, we’ve discovered that ‘just be yourself™’ is the worst advice. It never works for everyone. And most of your friends who give you this advice would not seriously take care of you.

If the answer is obvious, we need to find out the alternative solutions. What would you do for find out your potentials, future dreams and goals? What would you ask yourself on this challenges in your life?

Let’s find out what you want…

One of the greatest abilities human has that we are not always becoming submissive on many issues. Unlike the robots, most of the humans make thousands of different decisions. It’s driven by their emotions, perspectives, past experiences and environments that surround their life. But you might wonder why there are tonnes of self-improvement books and career guidebooks at the bookstore, but only a few people were satisfied their advice. Only these few people seem satisfied in their life and enjoy the challenge. Why is this happening?

Because those few people already consciously knew that their life choices and dreams make them happier through discipline. Some of them might not ‘naturally.’ Have a good sense of humour, but they would love to make new jokes and being satisfied to be a comedian. Or, some of them used to work in the financial sector and realise they hate what they are doing. So they decided to quit the job and tried to be an actor, singer or start up business. Whether they make choices, they knew that those choices will make them ‘happy’!

Not surprisingly, there are many little success stories how some people found what they actually love and becoming successful. None of these people will achieve their dreams only if they believe ‘just be you’. They won’t have a happy life if they do nothing about their ideas.

As a result, it’s essential to figure it out what do you actually ‘love’ to do in the future. What kinds of lifestyle do you want to have? What kinds of career or business models do you want to work on? What kinds of life journeys do you want to make in your in the 20’s? 30’s? Or even in the 70’s? Only ‘You.’ can answer this question for hundred percent. None of your parents, friends, coworkers, politicians will help you to find out what you ‘love’ to do in the future. Only you can connect your heart, ask yourself seriously that what would you do in your future.

Best advice vs. Worst advice

If you think you could find out what you want to try, whatever it is, you can also find a new environment or people that might help you to achieve your dreams. And find yourself to see some potentials. Whether you go to internet communities, Toastmasters or associations, there are loads of environments where you could belong to based on your interests and goals.

It’s difficult to say to me whether you should go this website or some meeting club. Not everyone knows everything about a career path, business models and so on. I have no idea how to be a body builder. But there are many places and Youtube channel you can check out to be a body builder. Or what about to be a good speaker? Why not join the Toastmasters? But I believe there are certain principles that you need to look at when you seek advice.

Even if you found an environment that helps you to be the best version of your dream, not everyone is going to be kind. Some of your member on your art communities don’t want you to be successful. People are irrational thinkers. At some odds, you will found out few people were always against you for ridiculous reasons. You will meet some of the competitors that they want to prevent you from being part of their environment. From start-up communities to bodybuilding communities, there will always be hateful people to make you challenging.

However, the good news is that it’s part of the consequences on your journey. You don’t have to be too stressful about it. You can find some of the good partners to help you to build strength and future. But you might confuse that whether this is good advice or not. Most of the people still struggle to find to distinguish good friends and bad friends. Who could be helpful for your journey? What else should you consider to find a good advice? Here are some of the good advice and bad advice based on my principles.

Good advice

  1. A good advice is to keep reminds you that becoming successful in this field is not going to be easy. Rather, it’s a lot of difficult challenges and takes your own risk to do it. 
  2. A good advice and teachers are going to break down your ego and confidence. Especially when you make a mistake or have no idea what to do during the process. Think about chef like Gordon Ramsey. He loves to push everyone off limits. That spirit makes people practice harder and consciously waking up. 
  3. A good advice encourages to do a lot of practices every day. As well as being critical and engage to see the new perspective on an every Whether it comes from academics, art projects or computer programming, you will always need to make tonnes of efforts to make better results. Also, it does courage people to make mistakes and learn from it. 
  4. Good advice and people also did not give a compliment too early or much. It’s not always easy to survive in many fields and get a trophy. Perhaps, it’s never going to be ‘good job’ unless you reach the best version of these areas. You will realise how hard it takes to be a champion during the process.

Bad advice

  1. A bad advice keep reminds you that ‘everything is going to be alright.’ Or say extremely positive things like ‘you are good enough to do this so far.’ Of course, most of these statements will never make you feel satisfied. It can be irrelevant for most of the beginners in any fields. How hard was it when you started to doing weight training? I’m sure it wasn’t easy. 
  2. A bad advice keeps giving a terrible virtue signals like ‘just follow your passion.’ Or ‘if you truly believe yourself, you are going to achieve it one day.’… rather than following this, it would be much better to build up some systems(habits) to increase your odds to achieve something. For instance, read a few chapters of books or going to the gym and exercise every day can be helpful. 
  3. A bad advice and bad friends keep making you fool like ‘Trust me, you look just fine as you are.’ ‘Don’t worry too much. Just chill and not too hard on yourself.’ It’s time to say goodbye to those illusions. You know that most of the times, everyone is not satisfied with the current That’s they want to find better jobs, new hobbies, skills that make you feel happy.
  4. A bad advice discourages you from doing ‘hardworking’. Rather, they’re trying to force you to believe what they are saying in 1,2,3. Just imagine how many quote images on social media does really helped you. Or how many your (friend-zoned) female friends does sound supportive when you feel struggled on your challenges? Always work hard for better yourself.

Be Skeptical

Of course, it is possible to see that not all of advice out there will works perfectly for you. Once you are doing it, you will figure it out which way is the best way for you on the journey. Some of you might find a real life advice from religious books. Or some of the people like me would buy self-improvement books and use everything as possible for better improvements. Unfortunately, not many self-improvements do not really increase my odds to have better results. But it’s important to be sceptical, try different methods for improvements, and decided which way works the best for you.

Even some of your close friends didn’t encourage you to change yourself, even if your boyfriend/girlfriends plays ‘just be yourself’ or ‘you are okay the way you are already’ cards, always set your boundaries in your life. You will never know which advice works for you on a daily basis, but you can naturally figure it out if you follow and do things that you love.

I didn’t imagine to be gym enthusiastic until two years ago. I thought I would always be overweight and drink loads of beers. But it all suddenly changed now. Because I found that my previous lifestyle and hobbies (partying, drinking) don’t really make me happy. The more I got into drinks and parties, I knew that I didn’t take care of myself and treat my body like a shithole. It doesn’t make me emotionally happy, and my party friends around me don’t treat me well or respect me every time when I met them. So I started to be sceptical what was wrong with me. And it turns out that those kinds of lifestyle don’t help me to be happy.

Thanks to my scepticism, I tried to read many books as possible on every month. I love to go to the gym at least 5 times of the week and trying out of regular weight training and new exercising. My body and appearance started to look great. it makes me realise that I don’t need to buy expensive clothing if I keep doing workout myself.

Whatever you struggles in your life, my point is that if you constantly be aware of your daily life and be sceptical about your lifestyle, at some point, you can find an opportunity to build a new system to change your lifestyle for better completely. If you find yourself unhappy while playing video games every single week, you might think again about playing video games. If you find yourself unhappy with your jobs, school and even your girlfriend/boyfriend, think again what does possibly goes wrong.

But It doesn’t have to be hateful for yourself. You deserve to be better, beautiful and confident as you are. You deserve to be a winner, champion on your new challenges.

Trust your instinct

When you hear about ‘rational thinking’, people always assume that humans are rational thinkers. Because of rational thinking, people believe we do make a rational decision that you think it logically makes sense. But have you seen yourself in the shopping mall and think logically about buying new clothes? Probably not. Even if you believe you do, you already found yourself to go to a shopping centre and buy new clothes which don’t need.

What about finding a new dating partner? Have you imagined to choose her by your logical predictions and rational thinking? Or your logic says ‘you will have a stable marriage life with her according to the logic’? Most likely not. Most of the guys out there will attract her irrationally with her beautiful appearances. Or what about your career choices? Have you found yourself to choose your career path through your teacher’s, parents advice? My life would be miserable and boring if I only following my career path just because my parents wants to do certain jobs.

You might find surprising to see that many of your life choices do not rationally make sense to others. My rational thinking would be annoyed to see that I changed my mind about healthy life and decided to go to the gym almost every day. But people are slowly driven by emotions. Even if you believe you decided by logics, you only choose something ‘makes you feel happy.’

Just look at the smartphones. Rationally, it does totally make sense to buy a Samsung or Sony smartphones since they have a high specification and loads of new functions and camera quality. Many of hardware experts say this. But the majority of smartphone customers still choose iPhone over the 10 years. Why does it happen? Because their instinct says that iPhone makes them feel comfortable. You can buy music, videos, apps and use social media without any hesitations. Logically, iPhone has not best specification on hardware. But Apple knows how to touch their instincts. It doesn’t matter if they were paying high prices. If it makes them feel comfortable, people will buy it.

Perhaps your life journey is going to be like this. You can’t just predict what kinds of jobs you will get in the future. I thought I would eventually going to be video games when I was young. But It didn’t happen. I thought I would never have a chance to go to the gym and do exercising, but it happens magically. Even if you can’t predict your future, if you listen carefully what your instincts choose the directions, perhaps it helps you to decide to make a bright future.

It’s time to stop being miserable and crying about your past. You deserve to be a confident, beautiful and successful person. It’s time to wake up and start up your great journey. Good luck with it and enjoy the progress.

Summary

  • It’s good to figure it out what you really want to do in the future. Whether you wanted to be a journalist, entrepreneur, politicians… it’s always good to think about your future and taking action. 
  • It’s always good to find people or communities to get advice on your fields. you must keep conscious about good advice and bad advice. Not everyone is going to help you. Some people will give you bad advice and try to block you. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t find a partner on your progress. 
  • Even if you think you had good advice, it may not work during your development. it’s always good to be sceptical about yourself and think again if things didn’t go well. What is the best solution to this issues? What can I do differently if I failed on this test? It’s still better to shout out ‘Just be yourself.’ 
  • You may find surprising that most of your decisions are not based on your ‘rational thinking’ or ‘logical approach’. even if your life choices leads you to irrational thinking and choices. Don’t be too scary about it. Because humans are driven by irrational, ideal and emotional instincts, and it’s still possible to be irrational in many choices. Why do you think people still goes to eat fast food since it ‘scientifically’ proves that hurts your health?

 

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Further reading

  1. The Psychology behind irrational decisions has a lot to do with how you manage emotions – http://bit.ly/1VYK3cm
  2. Humans are born irrational, and that has made us better decision-makers – http://bit.ly/2lJK98h
  3. The Five Fitness Mindsets: How to stay rational when you’re discouraged – http://bit.ly/1MSg7qh
  4. 7 strange questions that help you find your life purpose – http://bit.ly/29CVpPk