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  • Your irresponsible friends
  • The decades of journey
  • The worst type of virtue signalling
  • Summary

What does it mean ‘just be yourself™’? It’s easy to say to your best friends when does they struggled in their life. it could be the best way to saying yourself once you are trying to find out the best version of yourself. But what happens if you don’t know much about yourself?

What if you still struggling to find out your future plans? And what if you still feel miserable? Nonetheless, That’s the most common English phrases I’ve heard from the English language. Since I’m from Korean cultural background, it’s uncommon just to say things like ‘Just be yourself™’. I had no idea what does it mean when I hear that phrase the first time. But could we solve our problems magically with that phrases? What if your friends kept giving that advice, but includes empty promises?

Your Irresponsible friends

If you have friends from all over the different countries, it’s quite fascinating to experience to hear all of the different stories from their own perspectives. It’s always good to have listened to different opinions all over the places. However, at some point, whenever I encountered with native English speakers, I noticed some patterns that they love to say this magical words to me. ‘Just be yourself™’.

Of course, there is nothing wrong about this phrase itself. However, if you have real life struggles and asking your friends for help, you might expect to hear something more than that. Just imagine if you have a close friend who could directly tell you to the problems and break the illusion. You might feel uncomfortable at first. However, you would appreciate them if their advice is actually helpful or not. We all have those types of friends who can break the illusions that you have in your struggles. But what if your friends kept saying that magic phrase?

You might found out ‘Just be yourself™’ sounds like very irritating, irresponsible things that you can say to anyone. Of course, you could still say this and pretend like you are a good friend who takes cares of their feelings. But it won’t work out for everyone. Not just it sounds like impractical, it makes them feel worse about themselves and continue to be miserable about their challenges.

It’s never a good idea to tell ‘Just be yourself’. If you can’t truly help them out in an awkward situation. But why it sounds very unhealthy advice to you? What else could we think about it before you saying that phrase again?

The Decades of Journey

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – Confucius

If you read a couple of autobiographies from entrepreneurs, politicians or others, you realise that their life isn’t just about becoming themselves. Their entire journey has tonnes of difficulties and risks on their achievements and dreams. Their progress to building a company or becoming a prime minister takes loads of hard works and new challenges you haven’t faced before. So it’s not just enough to getting trough your challenges with ‘Just be yourself™’ mindset.

It’s impossible to see that ‘just be yourself’ is excellent advice for many people. Thomas Edison probably has no time to complain about his poor situations in the past. Instead, he has done loads of experiments to make a one perfect light bulb. What would Steve Jobs think of himself when he got fired from his company? What if I am standing in front of him and say ‘Hey Steve, it’s all good. Just be yourself bro!’? He might try to kill me 100 times for sure!

Whatever you have future career plans or else, my whole point is that everyone has different life challenges that may give different directions on your journey. There is no one-size-fit solution on life problems. It depends on your courage, willingness and intelligence power that helps you to get through the challenges and make a better version of yourself in the future. Whether you want to be an actor, police officer, baseball player or businessman, ‘Just be yourself’ is never be good enough for your future. In fact, it’s not going to get anywhere.

The Worst type of virtue signalling

Perhaps, ‘Just be yourself’ movement is all about the virtue signalling. When society and people became delusional and dishonest towards each other, you could spot tonnes of virtue signalling that doesn’t make people helpful or encourages them to do something.

it is incredibly easy to say things like ‘I want to be myself!’ and do nothing that makes you happy. Yes, you could still say ‘It’s going to be alright.’ ‘Don’t worry about it.’ ‘Be positive yourself!’ to your friends and doesn’t really help them what would they have to do. But How would you feel if you are saying those things to your friends who are actually suffering depression? Or lost their families? How does that really helpful for them?

Rather than being hypocritical about yourself and collecting quote images on the internet, it’s always better to face the challenges you have in your life and dealing with it. It’s going to be very hurt your feelings. Some of your enemies, competitors, doesn’t want to succeed. even girls or boys you are dating with you, they might not love you and appreciates your real values and honesty. Our human jungle has full of dangers and traps. You can’t just look at social media and collect quote images or look at Tumblr for escaping your pain and fulfil your ego. Otherwise, you are going to kill your mind softly.

It’s time to shut down your imaginary worlds without any challenges, risks. It’s time to stop collecting quote images and turn off the social media. It’s time to stop saying yourself and your friends to saying ‘Just be yourself™’ hundreds of times. You only live once. None of those virtue signals is going to help you really. The reality is full of dangers and play. The reality of your life is not going to be alright if you don’t really try to think about what should you do. It’s time to start making your journey to be a better version of yourself.

What would you do if you want to find a ‘real’ advice on the life challenge? We are going to look how to find better tools of improvements on part 2.


  • ‘Just be yourself™’ is the one of the most popular and worst advice in the English language. Which includes nothing but empty promises that fulfil your egos and give you false hope. Nothing is going be changed unless you realise that you have to do something overcome your life challenges.
  • It’s also the worst type of virtue signallings that leads everyone to be delusional. Living and believing in a ‘Just be yourself™’ bubble will lead you nowhere. Rather, you will find yourself to collecting quote images and do nothing about your life.
  • Everyone has different directions in their life. Your journey really depends on your job career, ideals, dreams that you dream of. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to this issues. Your dream and my dream is 100% different. So it needs personalised advice on your journey.
  • It’s time to stop soft-killing yourself to do nothing. The reality is harsh for people who does nothing on their issues. It’s time to wake up and think about what can you do for the best. It’s never too late if you realise this right now!


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Further reading

  1. 5 reasons ‘Just be yourself’ is terrible dating advice –
  2. The most important question of your life –
  3. Screw finding your passion –
  4. Why ‘just be yourself’ is a bunch of bullshit –
  5. Goals vs. Systems –